Returning

One year ago I attended my very first art retreat. It sounds so simple now but a year ago I was terrified. I wrote about it here and here. It was the beginning of a year of finding my way again. I still have a lot of self doubt and criticism. I haven't quite found my center yet but the fog is beginning to clear. I am learning my own truth and listening to my own voice.

Thursday morning I am returning to An Artful Journey. I am beyond excited to be back at this most amazing retreat. Cindy has lined up the most amazing group of teachers and after much agonizing over which class I wanted to take I finally followed my gut feeling and will be getting messy with Stephanie Lee in her plaster class. I love her work and am looking forward to all she has to share and exploring something new. I will reconnect with friends I met last year and meet new ones. We will talk and laugh, make art and share our stories. I will feed my soul, heal my spirit and expand my heart.

Will I see you there?

How Did That Happen?

My little boy turns 25 today! How did that happen? I feel like he was just at the stage that I was trying to get him to understand why he should sleep more than 2 hours at a time and now he is a grown up. We have not always had a easy time of things, he and I. Being a single mother of a boy child is not a easy thing. My mama bear instincts have always been and still are very fierce! There were many years that I fought with him, about him, and for him. He has taught me as many lessons as I hope I have taught him and now here we are. A very proud mom and her adult child. I am blessed and honored to be his mother.

Happy Birthday Mr B. I wish for you all your heart desires

Embrace

Embrace

to take up especially readily or gladly
to avail oneself of
to take in or included as a part, item, or element of a more inclusive whole

So that is it. My word for 2011. I will show up fully and embrace every day and all that is offered within that day. My creative journey, my relationships, my dreams. All of the big moments and the not so big moments. I will embrace opportunities and gifts and growth. The perfect and the not so perfect. I will embrace it all and I will celebrate it.


what is your word?

Reflecting

As 2010 comes to a close I have been doing a bit of reflecting on the year. Was it a good year? Did I accomplish what I wanted? Was there growth? Is my spirit in a good place? My first thought was no. I did not accomplish all I wanted so it was not a good year. But is that really true? Is that me just hanging on to what I didn't do and forgetting what I did do? So I decided to look at the year in a different way.

In February, in spite of my fears at 52 years old, I went to my first art retreat. An Artful Journey started me on this reclaimed journey of my creative spirit. I met the very awesome Nina Bagley. Such a generous spirit who gave me gifts that had nothing to do with jewelry skills. I met women who continue to inspire me. I came home and started my blog and became part this wonderful community.

In April I traveled across the country with my son and his 2 cats. He was beginning a new journey that continues all these months later. He and I have not always had a easy time but I always feel blessed to be his mother.

In July my sister and I took a week long drawing class in St Andrews, New Brunswick. I learned that I really could draw. We had an amazing teacher who made it all seem so easy.

In September I experienced another amazing art retreat at Squam. My time there exceeded all my expectations. It is a magical wonderful place. I reconnected with Lorrie, Beth, and Louise who I met at An Artful Journey in February. I had amazing classes with Flora Bowley, Judy Wise, and Sarah Ahearn and met more amazing women that inspire me.

In between these big experiences were lots of small things. Moments that I sometimes forget to hold with the same importance and value as the big things.

So on this last day of 2010, instead of dwelling in what I didn't accomplish I will celebrate what I did do. I will not give voice to the choir of self criticism but instead I will say bravo to me! I started the journey!

I invite you to do the same.


I wish you all a very creative and blessed 2011.

A Little Christmas Cheer

We finally have a Christmas tree up and a little festiveness in the house. It is a little difficult to come back to California after several months away and jump right in to the holidays! I have found that sometimes it is best to just start and the holiday excitement will follow.



The sweet red birdies are from my friend Lindy's shop. I am going to hang them in my studio after the holidays but I wanted to include them in our holiday. I love them. Lindy just started a blog that is so fun! Reading it is like sitting in her living room having a chat. It is very much who she is!

We are settling back into life in California, but as always missing Maine. I am looking forward to a New Year and all the possibilities it brings.

I wish you all holidays full of joy and blessings!

Heading West

Our time on this little island is ending for now. We will leave the island on Sunday and fly to our home in California on Tuesday. It is an interesting life we live, this bi-coastal life. I feel very lucky to do what we do. I also feel a bit fragmented at times. A feeling of never being fully integrated in either community but never doubting I am part of the community on this very special island. It is the most wonderful gathering of people that have come to live here. Some born and raised on the island, others have come for all this little place has to offer. It is a community. It is friends and neighbors and family. I sometimes feel like this is not real life. This place of amazing beauty and people. But it is and we am lucky enough to be part of it for a few months a year.
So we leave the island and lots of friends hunkering down for the winter. I always look forward to returning in the spring, smelling the sweet grass, and gathering again with our dear friends here.


With Gratitude and Blessings

Reconnecting and 53 Things

I have not posted since the end of September! That was not intentional and I could come up with all sorts of reasons why but the most honest is I didn't think I had anything interesting to say. My birthday is in October and that is always a time of thought, reevaluating, and reflecting. So I have been on an inward journey the last few weeks, feeling like my life is all over the place and trying to find my center.

I have decided to share something I was not sure I would have the courage to share. On Nina's 54th birthday (a few days after mine) she wrote a list of 54 things about her and her life. I thought that was an interesting idea and decided to write my own. It was not so easy! I set it aside several times and tried to come back to it without judgment. To just write what came to mind. So here it is. My 53 Things.

1. I am more shy than not
2. Fall is my favorite season
3. So is spring
4. I would like to be a better writer
5. I am rediscovering my artist spirit
6. My favorite food group is chocolate!
7. I live a bi-coastal life
8. I adore my son
9. I wish I had some musical talent
10. I love to cook
11. I love long dinner and good conversation
12. I dream of going to Italy
13. The full moon give me insomnia
14. I love a full moon
15. I often have a choir of self doubt singing in my head
16. I love art retreats. They are where I feel most myself
17. I don't really know where home is
18. I still love candy corn and necco wafers
19. I love solitude but often feel lonely
20. Shopping malls give me a headache
21. I struggle with depression
22. I secretly love to dance
23. How I see myself from the inside does not match what I see on the outside
24. I am working on that
25. I would like to have the courage to take more risks
26. And dream bigger!
27. I would love to own a coffee house
28. I am very sensitive
29. I would love to design and build a house
30. I think I am a good friend
31. I regret not having more children
32. I will be a fabulous Grandma someday!
33. I have regrets
34. I try not to dwell on them
35. I can be hard on myself
36. I Love Love good coffee
37. I hope I have gained some wisdom in 53 years
38. I would not want to go back
39. My Aunt Alice was an inspiration to me
40. I still have a lot of dreams
41. I don't really like to play board games or cards
42. I would like to write something profound
43. And have the courage to read it in public!
44. I am beginning to claim my talents
45. I love the Rocky Mountains
46. I was a single mother and tried to do my best
47. When I was little I thought I was supposed to be Japanese
48. I want to see Japan
49. I love rituals and symbols
50. Laughter is always good
51. I feel things deeply
52. I have a good heart
53. I try to be worthy